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Just To Talk

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World of Autistic Child

Be patient please! There is lot that lie in my world and you will not get to see them one after another but all at the same time. That is exactly what happens with me.

It is one of the busiest place. There are many people, many routes, indistinct places all linked with each other in very unusual way. Everything in my world is ever moving and all in action. Everything that moves has its reason and perspective. Be it be an ant crawling or a plane taking a flight but both has a connection and significance for me. I see world in unique way. I have a brain overcrowding with thoughts but difficult to present in correct words, phrases or sentences. I like to make social connections but I fail to do so. I have a lot going on within me so much so that I fail to see what’s going on outside.

As I am engrossed in my unique world, I hardly pay attention to anything else. Fixed routines, reminder notes and guidelines make my function easy. Slightest change in my environment or routine makes things difficult for me. It makes me anxious, uncomfortable and edgy. Feeling terrible I am all in mess, knowing not what I am up to.

Any personal change like change in clothes, in food, in familiar people makes me nervous. It’s so hard for me to try new things! When I attained puberty I found it quite overwhelming to adapt to the physical and mental changes. It almost terrified me. The surge of intense emotions and the physical changes gave me a hard time. I was confused about my parents changing my dressing style and choice of toys. They wanted me to grow up with new choices but I was comfortable in my old set of clothes and toys.

It’s tough for me to focus when someone is talking to me. I am unable to pay attention or maintain eye contact. I lack the knack of speaking in full sentences. I can only speak some words or broken phrases and make some sounds repeatedly. Generally my caregivers will help me with what I want when I point towards the object! Sometimes my verbal repetition is out of frustration or anxiety due to being unable to put my feelings in words.

Sometimes I do want to experience many things by touch but I do not have perfect sensory perceptions - I tap my feet, hands and make flapping movements just to feel the intensity of sensations. In the process I get hurt many times but I don’t feel the pain sensations as much as normal people.

While I have some differences, I also have some special abilities in arts, math, science, abstract thinking and dancing. Well as everyone say I am “special” still I am one amongst u all normal people with special differences. But I still crave for love, care and respect just like you.

Author: Dr Mansi Surati MD Hom (Psychiatry)
Certified CBT therapist
www.psychandsoul.com
Edited by: Dr Charuta Deshpande (MD Hom), Consulting Homoeopathic physician with experience in the area of Child Psychiatry.

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